A Letter to Elisse

Dearest Elisse,

First off, you’re probably wondering where we got your beautiful name “Martha Elisse”. Well, we wanted to have a classic and modern touch in your name. Martha because it sounds “old” and it means “lady” in Aramaic. Plus your dad wants something derived from the bible and Martha happens to be a friend of Jesus’. Now Elisse because I watched this horror film “Insidious” while I was like 6 months pregnant with you. The name of the psychic - who’s by the way I thought was a bad*ss – is Elise. So there, your name basically means BAD*SS LADY! And you owe that to us! Btw, I’ll tell you what the * means when you’re twenty already.

It’s time to get serious... Elisse, you’re turning one in a few days. It seems like just yesterday when you were in my tummy and I would eat papaya and pineapple every night for you to have a nice skin. You know sayings. =) You’ll probably be able to read this like when, 2? 3, or 5 years from now? No one really knows. Just like no one knew when you’d have your first tooth, when you’d do your first step, what first real word you’d say, whose name you’re gonna first call. Those just all happened. But the most important thing that no one – not even I - knew or saw coming was how a little girl like you changed my life entirely. I want to show you how…

BEFORE & WHEN YOU CAME


Before you came, I was so bad at time management. I’d be late on some of my meetings, I’d forget doing my errands, I’d miss my dues, all because of doing other unimportant things and not knowing my priorities. When you came, I had everything listed down – my schedule, my daily tasks, my bills, your dad, and so on. And on top of them – YOU. 


Despite my busy days at work, I still find time to pump your milk four times a day. I also use my pump time to read books. Believe it or not, it used to be so hard for me to finish (or start for that matter) a single book. But now, I’ve finished dozens since the day I started pumping. I’m just happy that I’m able to do worthy stuff that I was not able to do before, with you as my number 1. 

Before you came, I would go out with my friends almost every night and drink a lot of this yellow-looking thing called beers (it tastes really bad and not good for the health). When you came, I decided to cut it off. Not only because it’s bad for me, but also because it’s bad for you. As you know, you drink milk straight from my breast. When I drink beer, it goes all the way to my breast and mixes with the milk that you take. So that makes it a “bad milk” for you. To give you a healthier milk, I started to eat right and pursue running as my exercise. I would join races and imagine you waiting for me at the finish line. =) Geez, I have never felt healthier. 

I admit I still drink beers on some occasions but I make sure that I have stored enough “clean breastmilk” for you to enjoy.

Before you came, I would buy anything for myself - food, drinks, gadgets, shoes, clothes, everything. I would even travel out of the country every year. When you came, I don’t buy new stuff anymore unless necessary. I haven’t travelled since 2015. I envy your Ninang Trina whenever she makes a trip to the states. In fact, she’s asking me if I can go this time and I said I still can’t. But you know what? You now have a brand new home - our very own condo. And we’re moving in next week or so. =) That’s probably where you’re reading this letter right now. All the money that your dad and I didn’t spend for ourselves went there. We have no regrets at all. I know It’s gonna take time for us to “spend” again, but believe me you will understand when you grow older.

Before you came, I could not control my temper. I lose my patience so easily. Your dad can tell you more about it. I bet he can write 100 pages about his experience. =) My temper would turn me into a completely different person, a person who I usually hate. When you came, well I still have my temper and I think that won’t go away, but the good news is that I have time to close my eyes and shut my anger when I think of you. I admit that you sometimes get into my nerves then I shout, frown and get upset. My outburst is evident. Sometimes it takes a while for me to realize how awful my actions are but I feel remorse. Remorse – something I once never knew.

Before you came, I had my life – family, work, and friends. I was simply happy and all was right. When you came, I see wonderful colors around me! I see things far differently now. Whatever I do, it is always you that I think of first. It is not about my own life anymore. It’s about my life as your mother. All I know is that life turned out to be so much better when you came -- I love your dad even more, I love all the people I love even more, and most especially, I love myself, my life even more. It is all because of you. IT IS NOW ALL FOR YOU.

Happy 1st birthday [in advance], my love! Please remember that I will never get tired of loving you. 

PS: Sorry for writing to you this early.


XX,
Mommy

How to Get a Philippine Passport and U.S. Visa for Your Baby

If you have a baby and you’re planning to take her for a vacation outside the country, whether or not it’s soon, the perfect time to get a passport is now! The same goes for getting a visa, and in my case, a US tourist visa (B2).

We all know how long the lines can be when it comes to applying for these kinds of stuff. The main reason for doing it this soon is to avoid the inconvenience of going through a mile-long line and skip the usual long process with just one weapon… your BABY!

This post will help you with the simple process of getting a passport and applying for a US visa for your adorable little one. But before going any further, please take note that I am NEITHER an expert nor an employee of any involved organizations. The information is only based on my personal experience and references. So don’t blame me for unfortunate events! =)

I.              GETTING A PASSPORT

If your baby has a passport already, see part II.

My baby was 4 months old when I decided to get her a passport. I already have mine so it’s just for her that I was getting the passport for. I had to allot 1 weekday because Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) is closed on weekends. 

Good thing about applying for a baby less than 1 year old is that you don’t have to set an appointment or confirm a schedule. You can just walk in and there are special lanes for infants.
 

So first thing to do is check the availability of all the required documents because some, like the infant’s birth certificate, are not readily available. Sometimes it even takes time to be uploaded at Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA). 

You may check the complete list of requirements at the DFA website, www.dfa.gov.ph. Below are the applicable ones in my case.

•  Accomplished passport application form. Download it from the Department of Foreign Affairs website (http://www.dfa.gov.ph/download)
•  Personal appearance of either parent
• Valid passports of parents 
• Original Birth Certificate of minor in Security Paper issued by PSA. Order it online at www.nsohelpline.ph/order-now. Fee is PHP 350 per document inclusive of processing and delivery fees.

Once you have these, proceed to the DFA office. In my case, it's DFA - SM Megamall.

 1. First window  - pre-screening: 2 minutes
2. Second window – submission of documents and payment: 5 minutes

         Fees (Manila):

         Express Processing (10 working days): PHP 1,200

         Normal Processing (30 working days): PHP 950 
3. Third window – photo capturing. This is so cute. My baby could not sit at the time so they had her photo taken while lying on a blue cloth. 6 minutes
4. Fourth and final window – instructions to the courier for passport delivery. 2 minutes

*A parent may bring one companion to assist him/ her with the baby.

Total processing time: 15 minutes! The passport was delivered after 3 days.

Yes, parents can take advantage of this if they’re applying together with their baby. =)

II.             GETTING A U.S. VISA

Again, I am writing these info based ONLY on my experience and applicable scenario at the time of application, that:
- baby is 5 months old
- my husband and I have valid US tourist visas
- my husband’s passport is expired
- my passport is valid

I actually read a lot of articles prior application so I would know what to expect. A lot of “what ifs” and horror stories flashed into my mind and got me worried for few days or so. What made me more worried was the fact that my husband and I hold visas that would probably make the consul think that we have an intention to bring the baby to the US to live there permanently. 

But common sense erased all my worries and negativity: if I had an intention to bring my daughter to the US and stay long, I would have given birth there. For one, that would make her an instant citizen, right? So what’s there to doubt? 

Then I went on with lighter baggage…

Here’s how the process goes (for complete details, please refer to http://www.ustraveldocs.com/ph):

1. Accomplish the DS-160 form. Answer all the questions truthfully! Refrain from fabricating info just to make it look impressive. Here’s the link - https://ceac.state.gov/genniv/.

2. Pay the visa application fee at any Bank of the Philippine Islands (BPI) branch or via BPI online. As of writing, B2 application fee is $160  = PHP 8,160. This is non-refundable. You will have to print a form that has a randomly generated receipt number that you will also be required to present at the embassy.

3. Schedule an appointment by doing an online registration at https://cgifederal.secure.force.com/?language=English&country=Philippines. When you’re logged in, the page will show the earliest available schedule. You may also call the hotline at (02)9768500-02. I suggest getting the earliest, like 7:00 AM.

4. Go to the US embassy for interview. This is the nerve-racking part. All I can think of that day was “Is that how fast my money would vanish if the application gets rejected?!” And so I though the baggage was lighter.

At the US Embassy:

You will be required to come at least 15 minutes before your appointment. Our schedule was 7:15 AM and we were there at 7:00 AM sharp. The line outside was already very long where you could see families, couples, young professionals, students and babies like my daughter, Elisse.

Only 1 parent is allowed to accompany the baby. I suggest that you have someone come along and wait for you outside because (1) mobile phones and other gadgets are not allowed (2) to help you with the baby when you’re done and (3) to carry things for you. Make sure also that you bring food and milk in case of a long wait. Luckily, I’m breastfeeding so no sweat at all.

As for the documents, I only brought what the website asked me to bring:

-       Printed copy of appointment letter

-       DS-160 confirmation page

-       2X2 photograph with White background

-       Official Receipt for the visa fee payment

-       Baby’s passport

-       My passport

-       SUPPORTING DOCUMENT: Certificate of Employment

So here it goes:

Step 1. Approach the staff at the gate and advise that application is for the baby alone. Don’t feel bad when you cut the line. This is your perk! They will give you a piece of paper where you will write your name as a visitor. Let them check the documents. You’ll also be given a card labelled “E” which means Express. You’ll show this to the marshals at every window.

Step 2. Pre-screening. The officer will check the completeness of documents so make sure that you have everything including the photo with correct specs.

Step 3. Fingerprint scanning. Though this is no longer applicable, you still have to go to the biometrics windows. The officer will just ask the baby’s name and date of birth.

Step 4. Interview! This was how the actual interview went:

Consul: So you’re going to America as a tourist.

Me: Yes.

Consul: Do you have your visa?

Me: Yeah.

Consul: Can I see your visa?

Me: (handed my passport)

Consul: OK. Her visa will arrive in a week. Have a safe trip.

I wanted to ask, “Really, is that it?”. It was like a crazy roller coaster ride that lasted for a few seconds but so damn unpredictable!

She got a 10-year multiple entry. Her passport was delivered after a week.
 

The entire process took less than 30 minutes. Mann, that’s like shorter than your noon break.

So that was how I got Elisse’s passport and visa. The swift process actually quite changed my notion about Philippine government offices (at least for document processing). Well, I know it’s because of the baby but... it has definitely improved through the years. Like, I got my driver’s license renewed in less than an hour. That’s something.

I hope this would be of little help.

Have a safe trip!

Trisha

5 Simple Reasons to Breastfeed

Today marks my 5^th month of exclusive breastfeeding. Exclusive means no formula milk, no water, no solids, nothing else but breast milk. I decided to write something about breastfeeding because this will be the last month that my baby will be exclusively breastfed. We visited the doctor today and she gave a go signal to introduce semi solids next month. Meaning Elisse will be able to taste other healthy food aside from my milk. Yey!

Whether you’re a first time or seasoned mom, the popular advice that you get is to feed your baby with your own milk. It may sound easy and exciting but… let’s see.

So you’ve successfully delivered your baby… you feel her first latch and doesn’t hurt at all. Come the first week of your breastfeeding, you find yourself awake the whole night because of your baby’s constant whimpering.  You feel tired and frustrated when you feel that she’s not getting enough milk from you. Your back is in extreme pain because you can’t find the right position to nurse. Not to mention the cracked, sore and even bleeding nipples. All of these are happening while your body is still recovering from a 9-month hardship there was.

Thinking of quitting nursing too soon? Here’s why you shouldn’t:
  
1. Breastfeeding helps you lose weight. This is probably number one in your to-do list – to trim those lbs down to your pre-pregnancy weight. You used to be a 120-pounder with 25-inch waist line but now you see the hand of the weighing scale going way over the 120, 130 or even 150 mark! Plus the flabby & saggy tummy. Good news is breastfeeding lets you blow 500 calories out a day. Believe it or not, it’s like a 45-minute workout without bending your knees with those dumbbells. 
  
2. Breastfeeding is economical. According to the computing website thesimpledollar.com, it costs around a whopping $1,800 to formula feed an average baby for the first year of life. And the cost of breast milk - ZERO.

3. Breastfeeding is convenient. May it be at the mall, hospital, park, almost everywhere, you can nurse your baby when you are out and about. Just with your nursing cover, you’re always on the go. You don’t have to worry about bringing bottles and spilling out the milk while preparing it. 

4. Breastfeeding creates a bond between you and your baby. Your baby feels secure when her skin touches yours. The warmth of your body gives her the familiarity of you being around all the time.

 5. Breastfeeding makes your baby healthier. Pediatricians strongly recommend breast milk because of nutritional benefits it provides. It protects your baby against infections & other diseases and it boosts the immune system. I’m glad to say that Elisse has smoothly overcome the side effects of her vaccines. And I firmly believe that it is because of her strengthened immune system brought by breastfeeding.

These are only few pros of breastfeeding - the reasons why you have to endure the challenges during the early days of it. There may be “unreasonable cons” such as limited drinking and partying, limited time traveling alone, limited time with other people, limited workouts and the like. But guess what, you only have at least 2 years to nurse, and the rest of your life to drink and be merry.

Once you get the hang of it, you’ll find a hundred more reasons why you should keep going.

I know that breastfeeding moms will understand this more than anyone else will --- it makes a momma proud of herself when she reaches five months of exclusive breastfeeding. Just imagine how she’ll feel after 2 years of doing it. =)

Milky Mom,

Trisha