Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Three In One


*Wrote this 2 days ago, March 31*
Today's Monday, and then Tuesday, then Wednesday, then boom! the Graduation Day. I dunno what I'm really feeling today, is it excitement or is it something heartending. I honestly don't know. Not until the exact day. I intended to write earlier and post it later after few days so I will know the difference about the feeling.

-What I'm feeling now. (Monday -- Three days to graduation day)
I don't think about the graduation day that much, except for what will I look like when I'm wearing my dress on that day. Plus I can't help imagining myself wearing a toga. I'm a little (just a little, and I mean little) excited about tomorrow (the Baccalaureate Mass). After long months, I will have a chance to wear my school uniform again for the last time. I always get this weird feeling whenever I hear the word "last". So strange. Right now, I don't want the graduation day to be the only thing to look forward to. I want to have as many other events after that to keep me busy. I hate it when I'm bored and sad at the same time because it's the worsst. That defines "cry".

-What I'm feeling now. (Tuesday -- Two days to graduation; Baccalaureate Mass)

I'm getting more and more confused on what I'm feeling right now. I dunno if i want to say "I can't wait for tomorrow!" or probably "Can i ask for few more days?" I'm dealing with two EXs here. EXcitement OR EXtension. I don't know. We went to Memay's and I remember my friend Maan saying, "Alam mo simula practice pa lang bilang na ako ng bilang." She's talking about the days left before graduation day. I was doing the same until this very time.
Going to the Baccalaureate Mass. The "peace be with you" part was very nice. I just realized that my father was more vulnerable than what I thought. I kinda knew that my mom would cry, but my father? I wasn't expecting. When we went up to them (parents), my mom was sitting and wiping her tears. I didn't know that my father was doing the same. His eyes were red. Then he wore his sunglasses. I told myself "Umiiyak ang tatay ko". I almost cried, I was close to. But I held it. I could see that they're really proud of me and my sister. Two daughters graduating at the same time? Big time! and by the way, thank God we didn't come dramatically late like we used to during the mass. Whew.
The huling hirit thing at Memay's was great. Why is it always great when I'm with them? :)
I guess that's all for Tuesday.

-What I'm feeling now. (Wednesday -- A day before the graduation)
I'm kinda getting what I'm feeling. Of course I want to graduate, who doesn't. But I don't think I'll like the goodbyes. Remember the two EXs I wrote yesterday? I think I'm more on the EXtension side and a little on the EXcitement side. One day and I'm outta college. Hay. Maybe I just had the greatest years in Lasal with the greatest people that's why it's hard for me to take goodbyes and hear "lasts". I wonder what will it be tomorrow. I'll let you know. I'll save a space on my blogspot for tomorrow and I'll try to sum up the four wonderful years I had in college. (Tomorrow, I will be officially jobless but definitely not friendless)

I'll see you. Sigh sigh sigh. . .

xoxo,
♥trisha